Money is no object...

Hey all!  Things are still rolling along here in Hattiesburg.  The budget talks are still going, the semester is winding down, and I am oh so ready for classes to be over so I can hit some books that I really want to read :)  I am looking forward to a Thanksgiving back in my hometown with my family, which is one of a few interesting things that come up when you are married but a geographical bachelorette.  Also, my husband Lance will be home in 4 and a half weeks, just in time for Christmas!!!  Woo hoo!  We're headed back to the beach for a few weeks before I have to return to work in January.  It will be good to have him home for good instead of only two weeks like last time.

I've been trying to get back into my yoga practice, but post surgery motivation has been hard to find.  One of my biggest obstacles has been the cost of classes.  I love where the yoga studio I go to, but right now paying even her reasonable prices has been difficult.  We will have to get a new car when Lance returns and we are also possibly looking into getting a house, so we are saving every penny we can.  Another thing is that I'm the type of person that cannot do the same video over and over again.  I have to have some variety in the classes.  Also, my first yoga workshop is in January in Atlanta and I am getting a little anxious about that.  I find myself wondering if I will be up to par with the other yogis there or will I look like the kid with floaties trying to make it in the deep end.  Needless to say I'm beginning to get kind of frustrated with my lack of balance and continuity in my practice.

However, I am beginning to get back into my groove with a little help from cyberspace.  First, I purchased an unlimited membership to Yoga Today, a website with around 200 classes and growing.  For more information about their classes, click here.  Second, I've begun to rely more on one of my favorite yoga podcasts, Elsie's Yoga Podcast  with the amazing Elsie Escobar.  I love her teaching style and her enthusiasm.  She is just always so mindful and gives great insights in her classes.   There are so many resources out there in print and on the web that I hope to get my groove back very soon.    I also hope that maybe I can put a little money back for a class or two at my yoga studio as well.  We'll see.  I hope everyone has a great week!  Namaste!

She's BAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!!

It's been almost four weeks since my last post and a lot of things have happened.  Here's the quick and dirty update in the world of all things Marie.

Budget cuts are still rumbling, but I've decided that I have to stop panicking about it.  It is out of my hands and all I can do is trust that things will be alright, no matter what.  I've been on the road like crazy between traveling for work and for fun and advisement has been in full swing until last week.  Needless to say, my practice has been sporadic at best.  The past two weeks have been the worst, bad enough to the point that I haven't practiced at all until tonight.  About three weeks ago, I had to get a filling done at the dentist.  I came un-numb during it and that was the worst.  The decision was made that I had to have a root canal.  I go to the oral surgeon for my consult and he tells me that if it is bad enough, there would be some jaw surgery involved and he would do it while I was already under anesthesia.  Guess what?  It was and they had to.  I finally got my stitches out last Thursday and I have stopped having horrible pressure in my face.   Tonight, I figured I would give practice a try to see where everything was and how it felt; today was a day that needed a good practice.

Today was a crazy day.  After being a godmother to my friend's baby yesterday, I left Jackson, Mississippi at 3:45 this morning to get back to Hattiesburg and hopefully get a quick nap before leaving for a recruiting trip to a local community college.  After a 30 minute nap, I got ready and went on my trip.  I came back, had a fight with the hubby via Skype, and came home.   I was kind of sulking until I got a call from a friend in NYC and after almost two hours of laughing, I pulled out my mat and and got to it.  I went to the Yoga Today website and did a practice dealing with releasing tension and fatigue.  I feel so relaxed and refreshed, it was like my body was excited to be focused on again.  I am so ready to go to Ahimsa tomorrow night and get back into a regular yoga groove.

I'm running on fumes now, so I'm off to bed.  Until next time!!!

Namaste!

Eagles to the left of me, dolphins to the right...

I've been out of the loop for almost a week, so I will give you a quick and dirty rundown of my life in the past few days.

The key word for this post is STRESS, because there is an awful lot of it going on around me right now.  Walking tight ropes between divorced family, my sister is having a c-section in a week, drama with my grandmother's estate have all made their presence known in my life.  However, the biggest stress I have is my job.  I work in higher education and there have been a LOT of budget cuts regarding that area in the state I live in.  All of the staff of our department were pulled into a meeting where we were basically told that around three to five of us will lose their jobs.  Another fun fact is that the office I work in is potentially at stake as well.  As you can imagine, I had a bit of a meltdown when we found that out.  But, all I can do is to breathe, trust, and move to the next step with a clear head.  I am hopeful that another opportunity will open up sometime, so I just have to keep the faith.  One bright spot in this week is that I got to back to my hometown with my best friend in tow.  She always said that she wanted to see the place that made me who I was, crazy and all.  It was so great to be home and to see my family, but even that has its stresses.  Oh well, what can you do but breathe in, breathe out, and move on.

Needless to say, my practice kind of suffered this week.  My past few classes at Ahimsa had a lot of balancing elements, but also a lot of restorative work at the end.  Tonight, I went with a friend from work to a class on campus.  Those classes usually aren't my type, but since I am paying to use the campus gym I could at least use it, right?  Tonight marked my first class with a male instructor and it really wasn't that different.  But, I couldn't focus for a number of reasons: the step class in the next room sounded like a club, I couldn't see or hear my instructor, and I felt so weak in my poses.  Plus, he threw me out of my comfort zone and into the fire with a dolphin/dolphin plank combo and eagle poses held for extended periods of time.  Then, he tried to get us in crow pose.  I just couldn't do it.  I felt no strength in my arms, which scared me a little.  I could never get my feet off of the ground and it was frustrating to no end.  I was way more frustrated than exhilarated.  I'm sure a lot of it was stress and fatigue, but I guess we all have to hit the wall at some point.  I guess I just have to keep telling myself that yoga is a marathon, not a sprint.  It may take me forever to get into crow or eagle or handstand, but it will happen someday.  I guess everything that is going on is just a perfect lesson in patience. I will get through it some day, some how, but for now, all I can do is feel it, breathe it, and be it.

I'm going to end it here because I am slap exhausted from leaving Jackson at 3:45 a.m. this morning.  Have a great week and I will see you guys on the flipside.

At times like this, the girl needed to meet her mat

Apologies in advance for the tone.  Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel numb?  Where no matter what you do to make yourself feel better throughout the day, you are still in a tremendous funk?  That was me earlier today.  Lance left to go back to Kuwait today to finish out his deployment with his unit.   I know that he will be home for good in about three months, but it doesn't make it any easier.  Deployments just suck like that.  

Last night, Lance and I went to dinner and then to Books A Million to try to have some sort of chill time before the inevitable trip to the airport the next day to send him back to the Middle East for the rest of his deployment.  Anyway, we both found some books we wanted, (I got Light on Yoga, yay!), came back home and just sat for a while.  I felt so drained by the mounting stress of the coming morning that I wanted to crash at 9:30.  Instead, we stayed up a little longer to discuss how much the next day was going to suck.  This morning, we left at 6:00 a.m. because there was not a clear flight time for him and we wanted to make sure he got there in time.  You know it's going to be a stellar (note the sarcasm) day when the first three songs you hear are "Photograph" by Nickelback, "Slide" by The Goo Goo Dolls, and Mariah Carey's version of "I Want to Know What Love Is."  I held myself together as best as I could, I tried so hard not to fall apart in front of him.  I even used a little pranayama in the form of alternate nostril breathing to try to calm myself down.  I was fine...until about 10 minutes after we got to the airport.  Lance and I were sitting there trying to crack jokes and make each other laugh.  But as the time got closer, the harder it was to look at him, to not cry, to be peaceful about him leaving again. About ten minutes until 8:00, we both couldn't take it anymore and I had to go.  The tears were going, (from me of course), and I swear I heard the sad walking away music from the Incredible Hulk.  I must also tell you that the Gulfport - Biloxi Airport makes it worse with their escalators - you just go down until you can't see them anymore.  I got in my truck and sat there for a few minutes, just to let myself feel it.  Then I headed back to Hattiesburg to work.

On the way back, I listened to Elsie Escobar and Hillary Rubin's podcast, Mudra Moments, ( mudramoments.wordpress.com) to try to keep my sanity.  One of the things that constantly comes up in their podcasts is the need to be present, to be in the moment, no matter what.  You need to feel it, to connect, and then grow from it.  Also, find your breath and follow it through.  Through the rest of my day of work, rumbles of more budget cuts, and evening grad classes, I felt everything:  the frustration, the sadness, the whole spectrum. All I could do was find my breath and follow it wherever it led me to be at that moment.  After everything, I knew at some point before I went to bed, I needed to meet my mat.  I needed to get on my mat and practice, if for no other reason than to turn my focus to something else for a few precious minutes.  It didn't need to be hard or stressful, but I just needed to be there.  I needed to tune in to myself and connect.  When I got home from class tonight, I went straight to the guest bedroom, unrolled my mat, and played one of Elsie's yoga class podcasts, (elsieyogakula.wordpress.com).  It was a light beginners' practice, which was just what I needed.   Afterwards, I used one of her other episodes with a 13 minute relaxation to turn my mind off.  Then I just lay there and prayed - for strength, for grace, for fortitude.  The precious hour and a half I had on my mat was exactly what I needed to pull myself back into life, back into the moment, and back into myself.   Needless to say, I can't recommend Elsie and Hillary enough :)

I will be alright in a day or so, so don't worry.  It's just another growing pain.  However, this time I know I have a great launching pad to pull me above the stress, anxiety, and pain and help me grow and be of service to every one who needs me.  One very positive thing from today - I registered for my first yoga weekend workshop!  It is in January at Balance Yoga in Atlanta and Rolf Gates will be leading it.  He wrote an amazing book called Meditations from the Mat that is really inspiring.  If you want to learn more about it, click here.  I am so excited and I hope I will be ready by then :)

Well, it has been a draining day, so I am going to head to bed.  Thank you for reading my rant and for all your comments.  You guys keep me going :)

Namaste!

Restoration Hardware - Complete with Photos!!

I'm back in the Hattiesburg metroplex and kind of dreading going back to work tomorrow.  After a little over a week off, I'm a little scared of what awaits me.  Plus, it brings back the reality that Lance will be leaving again Wednesday morning :(  I know that all I can do is just breathe in, breathe out, and move on through the next few months.  Thankfully, I have a great group of people around me and you, my blogging audience, to help me through.  Needless to say, this is definitely going to be a "meet the mat" kind of week.

I also have an awesome trip home coming up soon and I am so ready to get back and see my family who are coming in from all over.  It's my little brother's senior homecoming and they are honoring my class for our pseudo-10 year reunion.  Anyone feeling old yet?  It will definitely be interesting to see where everyone is in life now.  It's weird that I am excited to go and visit, but I know that I could not and would not voluntarily move back there.   My hometown will always be a part of who I am, but for the most part, my personal growth occurred away from the safety of the nest.  For that, I am truly thankful.  But on to the reason I blog...the yoga :)

Friday was my first class back at Ahimsa since Lance and I went on vacation.  My regular teacher, Emily, was out so we had a sub.  She was great and the class was extremely challenging for me.  This was because instead of Emily's flowing style of poses, Courtney's was hold a pose for about 6-8 breath cycles and then you'd move.  It was a challenge to keep my breath and focus, especially in the triangle and inverted triangle poses.  But, I slept like a rock that night, so it was all worth it :)  Today, I went to another class at Ahimsa with my normal teacher.  There were only two of us in class today, which is a wonderland of personal attention.  She introduced us to the Primary Series of the Ashtanga style of yoga and I have to say that I have never sweat so much in any kind of physical activity in my life!!!  We did about 3 rounds, went into some standing poses, and some twists.  Then, she brought out some restorative poses and the angels began to sing and my back began to pop.   The more I practice, the more I love yoga.  I just felt lighter throughout the day.  This was my first Sunday practicing before Mass and I must say that I felt more present in my worship experience.  I felt more grounded and more focused and open to God and His presence today.  It was awesome!

Well, I thought I would attach some photos from my vacation.  Enjoy!!

The view from our balcony

  

Me on the beach...you know I had to do some yoga poses
















Me in tree...right before I fell out :)

Flippers ;)

Me and Lance

Take care and namaste!

Blooming, beaches, blogs, and books

I took a quiz about what flower I am, and apparently, I am a snapdragon :) The description for this flower was mischievous and a fierce friend, so I will take that :) Speaking of blooming, one of my all time favorite sayings is "Bloom where you're planted." I am not sure who actually said it, but it is very true. I have been transplanted from so many "pots" that have shaped who I am. I would have never thought I would end up working in higher education and living in Mississippi, but as I look back on things, I couldn't see things any other way. Most of my lifelong friends I have met either in Mississippi or when I went to Ole Miss. Everywhere I have lived has given me something: Gadsden, AL - love of mountains, trade day, and Unclaimed Baggage, Oxford, MS - love of college football; Savannah, GA - exotic food, culture, and oh much more; Hattiesburg, MS - pralines, gumbo, New Orleans, the beach, yoga and oh so much more :) Wonder which transplant will be next?


Today was our last day in Gulf Shores, Alabama. We've been here since last Friday and it was great to get away. Food, The Office, and relaxation have been the theme for the week. There are a few reasons that I am kind of ready to get home: Guinness the wonder cat, yoga class, schoolwork that I desperately need to catch up on. However, getting back home also means it's one day closer to Lance going back to Kuwait on Wednesday to finish out his deployment :( I know they only have a little less than three months left of their year long mission, but it still sucks. That's the only bad thing about leave - you get used to them being back and then they are gone again. On the bright side, we did decide that when they do get back (hopefully around Christmas) we are going to rent a house down here again and get our families down here for Christmas. That'll be nice.


A good thing that I have been able to do since we have been at the beach is have a fairly regular yoga practice and try out new videos. I've had about 5 days of practice while we've been here and it has been great to focus on it. I've been so much more balanced and peaceful since I've been here and practicing. The mat has also been a great place for a quiet time. Is it the waves, the atmosphere, or yoga effects over time? Whatever it is, it's been great! I brought three videos down here with me to rotate throughout the week: Vinyasa Flow Yoga - Seane Corn (love her!!), Kundalini Yoga for Beginners and Beyond - Ana Brett and Ravi Singh, and Yoga Shakti - Shiva Rea. Seane and Shiva's DVDs are based on the vinyasa style and Ana and Ravi's is obviously based on kundalini. I've had Seane's DVD for a while, but since I've started practicing again, I grown to love it more and more. I got Kundalini and Yoga Shakti right before we came down, so this was the first time to do those DVD's. Both of them were great and challenging: needless to say, I got a great workout! I firmly believe that kundalini is Sanskrit for "sore torso". I say anyone who thinks yoga is not a workout needs to take a class or do one of the videos. I would totally challenge them to do the Kundalini sequence and then talk to me.  I look forward to doing more with them and seeing where the mix of styles takes me. I could totally get used to this feeling :)


This week has also been a week of reading for me. I've been engrossed in Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is so cool to read her journey to figure things out after her world shifts out of control. I'm still at the India part of the book, but it is really great so far. I also picked a yoga related book this week called Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison. It's a year's worth of daily meditations on yoga and so far, it has been really inspiring. I knew it was a keeper when I saw that one of the meditations started with another of my favorite saying, this time from the Talmud: "Every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers 'Grow, grow!" It will be interesting to see how the meditations and my practice work with each other.


I've started following a few new blogs this week: Yogini in Progress irishyogini.blogspot.com, YogaDiva's Divine Life yogadivasdivinelife.blogspot.com, Emily's random ramblings and my friend Sarah's blog about her experience in seminary sarahtakesonseminary.blogspot.com. Have I mentioned how much I love vacation?


Catch you back in the Hub City of Hattiesburg!

And away we go!!!

Thus begins my journey into the blogsphere...

I have wanted to have a blog for quite a while, but I felt like I really had nothing to write about.  Well, nothing major, I guess you could say.  While my love of 80's hair bands and pop culture and being a military wife is huge, I felt like I didn't have enough to say about it to deserve a space on the internet.  However, I have recently started something that I never saw my 5'6", 170 pounds self ever being able to do, something that I would not have thought about in a million years - I started a daily yoga practice.  My hope for this blog is that it will serve a accountability tool, a recounting of the crazy days in my life, and a much needed motivational boost and venting space.

I know, you're probably wondering why and how.  To answer those questions, you need a little background.  If you know me or even if you don't, (and hopefully some of my friends will read this :)), you need to know that I am not athletically inclined at ALL.  My sisters were both cheerleaders and softball players who played on state championship teams.  My younger brothers are football players.  Me in the middle = flute playing, theology loving book worm who tried sports and failed miserably.  I even tried to pick up running this year, but my knees and hips screamed "NO!!" for three months straight. I had tried yoga on and off during my undergrad years.  However, there was always a problem:  the classes were huge (sometimes 60-70+), they were never in sync with my class or work schedule, and because of the massive class size, the teachers could never give you the attention or corrections that you needed.  I almost picked it up again when my hubby Lance and I lived in Savannah in '05.  However, with a looming move and deployment, yoga kind of went to the wayside.  I had always wanted to pick it up again, but I never had a place or time where it fit into my life...until now.

A little over three weeks ago, I decided to look around the Hattiesburg area where I live for yoga classes.  I had tried some at the local university, but the same old problems appeared and I just couldn't connect to them.  I found two yoga studios in town:  one had more morning and afternoon classes that wouldn't work with my 8-5 job.  The other, however,  did mostly evening classes and weekends.  I decided to try it.  What could it hurt, right?  Tuesday, September 8th, I pulled out my ragged yoga mat I've had since I was a freshman in college and headed to a mixed level class at Ahimsa Yoga in downtown Hattiesburg. I figured that one class in a real yoga studio could help me get a glimpse at what a real yoga class was like.  My teacher/studio owner was awesome, the class was small (around 10 people) and it pushed me physically and mentally, and the attention the teacher gave us was amazing.  I went to another class that Friday just to make sure the feelings I had about the first class wasn't a one time thing.  It definitely wasn't  - it was even better.  I was hooked.

So, for the past three weeks, I have tried to do some yoga daily.  Sometimes, it doesn't happen, but as long as I can get at least 5 days of practice a week, I am alright.  I try to do four classes a week at Ahimsa and the rest at home.  Last week was kind of crazy with the hubby coming home from Kuwait for his two weeks leave, but this week I have been able to have a daily practice while we are here at the beach on vacation :)  I really love the feeling I get every time I hit the mat.  I love the challenge, I love the focus I get when I'm on the mat and the calm afterwards.   I know it is a constant journey and I am ready to see where this crazy path called life leads me.

Well, this was a crazy long ramble for a first post.  Hopefully, it will get better with time.  Thanks to Heidi at the Chai and Yoga blog, chaiandyoga.com, Flo at the Southern Yogi blog, southernyoga.blogspot.com and Joni at the Accidental Yogist blog, blog.accidentalyogist.com for inspiring this blog.  Take care!!